I'll just put the kettle on...

Cafés for me

2011-05-14T07:53:00.000-07:00

My favourite coffee shop has closed down. I wandered up with friends and saw the A4 lined paper with the black permanent marker sign; 'Closed Down - thanks for all your support over the last year'. Rachel and Aimee were very sympathetic (although 30 minutes later they were a little stuck for reassuring words!) For the next half an hour I was in complete shock, muttering to myself as we drove back to Ripon. I ran inside the cottage, simply for me to access the internet to find out what has happened. I've looked all over the internet and nothing.

It was called The Laden Table. The walls and tables were a crisp white and the milk was served in miniature milk bottles. It was beautiful, and a little retreat which provided me with Poppies For Grace post-it notes, buffalo mozzarella sandwiches and blueberry cupcakes- it was a place to bring friends. I don't think I would have survived my teaching placement in North Yorkshire without it.

All this emotion got me thinking. Cafes are like homes. You can make any cafe your home, even for a morning. The first morning working in Manchester I went to a Starbucks for a big Vanilla Latte. I sat there for half an hour in a corner, buried myself in a book (although I was not engaging with it because of that distracting nervous feeling). Independent coffee shops usually triumph though. Leonards Coffee Shop in Durham excels in creating a homely atmosphere. It has seen thousands of students nestle in it's comfy leather sofa in the new upstairs extension. They go to the toilet are greeted by three ducks happily sitting in the corner. Their loyalty card has daisies on it.

Lempicka in Beverley is another favourite location. Painted with French inspired murials and selling luxury chocolate truffles, it felt like Chocolat in an actually cafe. So many conversations happened there; 12-14 years old. Friends told me they were leaving the area, breaking up with a boyfriend or questioning their very existence.

The Laden Table was as tranquil as a Spa but as cosy as a log cabin in the depths of winter. People brought Apple Macs and read Country Living as the children played with the wooden kitchen. Described as a 'creative community in the heart of North Yorkshire' there was a vision behind it that was deeper than the shop's foundations! As we walked around the corner I told Rachel and Aimee, 'This lady completely inspires me...and it's become one of my favourite places'. Confronted with an empty shop with its lights turned off and the fairy lights crumpled up in a pile on the table...I felt like my house had just been robbed. People often talk about 'soundtracks for their lives' or they associate meals with a certain places. It'll be cafe's for me.

Hope

2011-05-02T03:17:00.000-07:00

Some poetic/song writing time emerged a couple of weeks ago with Jake. This is the product of some good 2 hours. It's changed slightly to fit with music, but this was the skeleton of the song.

Let's plump up the cushions; but will it mask the foul?
Creating order for you - to win you back somehow.
So we lie picking...wallpaper in our hands
You looked up to the ceiling, why could I not understand
You sat back so quiet, so very to yourself

You're so secret, the taboo, the white elephant in the room
So secret, the taboo, the white elephant in the room

Recurring dream, your single theme is that I, I'm not enough
But I was only waiting for you to see if you'd understand love

I review the setbacks, the crushing defeats.
She said; 'Look how my dress twirls. Watch my dancing feet...
In these tired walls, I ...finely feel free

Though I will dance, and I'll dance, and I will dance...only for me...

Recurring dream, your single theme is that I, I'm not enough
But I was only waiting for you to fall, fall back in love (whatever that is)

Hope, follow me through, follow me in
Never depart for then I have Hope
Never let go

Raymond

2011-05-01T10:42:00.001-07:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/8611972.stm

Lovely, lovely man!

Quote

2011-05-01T04:05:00.000-07:00

“Give me but one firm spot on which to stand, and I will move the earth.” - Archimedes

I stumbled across this quote from a lady that runs a wonderful little coffee shop near to Ripon, where I've been living for my final teaching placement. I looked it up, and traced it's author. I love these little Greek nuggets. Don't get me wrong, they were incredibly elitist but once they were at the top of their game they knew their stuff. They were wonderful teachers as well. Some of the great scholars would have open air schools of philosophy. Their students would continue the school, pass on their teachings or even write it down. We have his students to thank for all we know about Aristotle. The man who wrote this was actually a Greek engineer, who invented leverage. I saw this quote and thought it was really quite profound, but then realised it's actually just very practical. Refreshingly simple, but because of that l think it has a lot to say!

Nuggets

2010-01-21T10:38:00.000-08:00

'Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out...Either we have hope within us or we don't; it is a dimension of the soul, and it's not essentially dependent on some particular observation of the world or estimate of the situation.'

Havel, The Politics of Hope

Stopping Off

2009-09-20T15:23:00.001-07:00

Joy is my chant...

2009-08-17T15:06:00.000-07:00

Wandering around Covent Garden is good for the soul. Buying lunch from the food market on a Thursday in August has to be done at least once in your life. Sitting in St Paul's Church garden, eating tomato and basil foccacia was a delight. Inspired by my trip to Neal's Yard I decided to start my latest project. I painted a trellis gold, wrapped orchid fairy lights around and hung it on the wall in my bedroom. I'll keep filling it up with nick nacks as time goes on.

Almonds before dusk

2009-08-01T11:51:00.000-07:00

Climbing up a small mountain, heading for a destination and being sidetracked by an almond tree. Grab two rocks and you've got yourself an almond. Walk on, and you've got yourself the most beautiful view. Over July I have been working in Spain, the Priorat region where I lived in a small village with a Spanish family. In thirty days I absorbed the language, the unique wine and family life. It was a stunningly beautiful area full of culture which I relished.

Walking the streets of Barcelona on my own, drinking up art in the MNAC and having a Cafe con Leche beneath La Pedrera will provide perfect stories to whip out at a dinner party, or perhaps the nursing home. European chic was finally attainable! In our 20s we have three things available to us ; freedom, beauty and choice. We're at liberty to do what we want in our long holidays, albeit on a somewhat limited budget. But beauty all around us willing us to explore it; in people and places. And we have choices. Or at least the situations we encounter will force us to choose our standing in the world. What do we study? Who do we vote for? Where do we live? Living in one of the richest societies of the Western World, maybe we underestimate this final privilege of relatively unrestricted choice. What I've taken away from my time on the Continent is that we don't have to rush this. We can take a moment to enjoy an almond before rushing to the summit.

It's funny actually the constant 'race against time' attitude I've encountered recently. Someone told me that if you don't act quickly after you graduate your degree goes cold. Act now, quickly. Your freedom (how much freedom a good salary can buy) depends on it. Beauty awaits (in the style of a freshly pressed shirt fitting for the boardroom). Make that decision. It's a dog eat dog world, where the snarl of competition is followed by the dreaded crunch of the economy. Even in the most beautiful place in Spain there is a great competition between winemakers and olive oil producers. It's just that their day makes time for a siesta in it. A time to rest.xx

Snapshots

2009-03-06T15:07:00.001-08:00

Poetry

2009-02-16T03:53:00.000-08:00

Was simplicity discarded and wisdom replaced?
Searching for something but losing the way.
It is the disregard of the subtleties;
chipped bricks, broken locks and falling trees.
I found pictures with beds on grubby ground,
Not theatre tickets or modern sounds.
I held out pursuit but for little reward
Only found a broken suitcase and a dusty record.

Carriageways and clothes, a legacy for the mo.
‘Please Sir, I heard it’s the fight that you loathe.'
It is the disregard of humanity;
dirty water, broken hearts and desperate pleas.
‘Finding the things you thought you knew
Forty-six years was a long time for us too.
Clutching at peace but an order too tall
Satisfied with cans and wheat and a new football.’

Turning the page doesn’t always bring perspective,
Something haunting when rejection looms.
‘I try to disregard comparisons;
glossy pictures, special meals and crafted songs.
I want to be there, sat next to you
but not with patronising talks taken at face value.
A genuine presence, perhaps till death do us part.
So I’ll wait, I’ll wait for that call on my heart.

Well this is it, reached another decade now. I wonder if something exciting might happen along the way ~ hope so! xx

Nuggets

2008-10-31T03:51:00.000-07:00

My friend sent me this...

The Contrite Heart

The Lord will happiness divine
On contrite hearts bestow
Then tell me gracious God, is mine
A contrite heart, or no?
I hear but seem to hear in vain
Insensible as steel
If ought is felt tis only pain
To find I cannot feel
I sometimes think myself inclin'd
To love thee if I could
But often feel another mind
Averse to all that's good
My best desires are faint and few
I fain would strive for more
But when I cry 'my strength renew!
'Seem weaker than before
Thy saints are comforted, I know
And love thy house of prayer
I therefore go where others go
But find no comfort there
O make this heart rejoice or ache
Decide this doubt for me
And if it be not broken, break
And heal it if it be.

William Cowper

Summer-y reflections

2008-10-19T14:14:00.000-07:00

This summer has been filled with metropolitan encounters across the globe. My holidays started with a mini break to Paris with a dear friend from University. It was quite a spontaneous trip to try and convince the heart that it could find passion, creativity and respect in a whole array of different things, not just in the heart of another. My desire to write became much more intense as I sat in beautiful Parisian gardens, in the shadow of beautiful Parisian flats with the ornate iron balconies. I wanted to capture it all on paper so that I would never forget the feeling of gently strolling round Le Marais. I was nineteen with a whole load of things weighing my heart down but when you sit in the Place de Vosges with a pain au chocolat all the worries evaporate as you embrace a different culture, a different place and a different you. I say ‘different’ but actually mean that person that you always quite want to be. For me it’s the secret ‘artsy’ type. Not the pompous nineteen year old boys who call Jane Austen superficial (they do exist!) but those little gems who don’t need to boast about their hidden talent because it’s obvious. My friend has a sister who is amazing at photography...I’ve never met her but I think she’ll be one of these people.
Returning home brought reality back, bringing with it a pair of marigolds and a toilet brush. Yet there French spirit still lingered on as I tried to use the cleaning experience as a starting point for some creativity. Some of the greatest authors seem to have waitressing nightmares or dull office jobs that shaped their experiences and are incorporated in that number one bestseller that launches them to fame. After two weeks it was no longer a ‘difficult’ experience to exploit at a later date but a very dull job. I had the time to think and overthink everything – hmm. Perhaps it was right that I worked there and confronted some of the things I was reluctant to face up to. My faith took a battering as I analysed every tiny inch of my heart. Who does God want me to be? Was I being real? Who was I living for? Where was the glory going? Why do I feel like this?
New York was a complete shock to the system. It is a city which tries to be everything to everyone which means it takes a while to work out where you fit. Wall Street or Bedford Avenue? A week isn’t long enough in many ways but it is plenty long enough in others. I enjoyed the subway and the coffee shops and knew that with more time I would find more little places like the Biography Bookstore in the West Village where I bought ‘The Audacity of Hope’. Or the bakery opposite which baked cupcakes that melted in your mouth. As I’m very much in a Carrie Bradshaw moment it would be nice to be in West Village again, hearing cab drivers negotiate the blocks and watching young couples walking to meet friends for dinner. Perhaps it’ll be one of those trips that I long to replicate when I am 59 years old - the young student who goes off to see if that little corner of the world could be hers, not much money but enough to enjoy a few luxuries. Perhaps it’ll come sooner than that, maybe next month when the deadlines start approaching. You are literally on the edge of your seat in New York, as you hop of subways or sit on park benches grabbing a bagel before the next thing. Even the artists I saw appeared keen to finish their sketches quickly. Maybe it’s silly to say that everyday seems New in New York whereas the days in Paris could have easily been the same a hundred years earlier.
Whereas these cities are flinging you into the fast paced lifestyle or encouraging you to stroll in gardens of ancient palaces they are truly experiences that I thoroughly enjoy. Enjoy the photos, but listen to ‘Much Farther To Go’ by Rosie Thomas as you sit and look at them! xx

And I have much farther to go

And I’m so confused

Everything is new and so unpredictable
I should just click my heels together and go home

But I'm not sure where that is, anymore

The Waters Edge

2008-07-27T10:55:00.000-07:00